I have lost zero lbs. Just Hear Me Out.

Jen Head ShotLose 40 lbs by my 40th birthday (August 11th) and 50 lbs by December 31, 2016.  I joined a gym and I’m ready to go!  I will have a physical after my birthday and my goal is to see my blood sugar drops into a non pre-diabetic range.  Check back for more details on my weight loss journey!

Above is a reminder of the goal I set back in January.  So here we are 10 months after I posted my  7 Personal Goals for 2016 and you have not heard from me.  I shouted it out to the world and committed to losing 40 lbs by my 40th birthday and 50 lbs by December 31st.  It’s now October and I’m here to say that’s not going to happen.   Not even close.

Trust me, that is incredibly hard for me to say out loud or to even write.  I was too ashamed and embarrassed to report back.   I let myself down in a big way.   I assure you this has nothing to do with a lack of effort.  In fact, I have been working out at least 4 days a week at Orangetheory Fitness Burlington HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training), and pushing myself beyond limits that I can’t even imagine.  I burn 400-500 calories a session, continue to burn calories for the next 24-36 hours and  I have not lost one single pound.  And remember, I sat on my butt for almost 4 years after I had my son so committing to my health and making time to go to the gym should have shown some results by now.  Something. Anything.  I’m not perfect but I have been watching what I have been eating.  I’ve been making major sacrifices and still no weight loss.  I  admittedly step on the scale more frequently than I should and it’s a horrible version of ground hog’s day.  The scale repeats the same weight every. single. day.    It wasn’t making sense.  That’s when I knew something must be wrong.

I was convinced that if I had a physical that my blood test would certainly prove that my efforts were working and I would no longer be pre-diabetic. In fact, I begged my doctor 5 months ago to let me prove to her that I could lose weight on my own and I didn’t need to go on Metformin, a popular drug used to lower blood sugar.  For me, this label meant that I failed and that the poor choices I had made with food for so many years led to me having diabetes.  When I was pregnant with my son I had gestational diabetes “or diabetic during pregnancy only” and had to inject myself with insulin.   This was a nightmare for me given the fact that I have a fear of needles.     I was also told that it definitely increased my risk of having diabetes after childbirth but I just knew that I was going to beat it.   The reality is that my entire immediate and some extended family have it and because I’m genetically pre-disposed to getting it, I really had very little chance of avoiding it in the first place.

My blood test results came back and I couldn’t wait to see how much my numbers improved.  I had been working my a@# off and my clothes were fitting better. I must be gaining muscle they said.     I remember so vividly reading the letter that my doctor wrote me that said “Jen, your diabetes is NOT under control.”  Wtf!???  This was my big moment and everything was going to be ok.    I worked so hard for it!

She prescribed me Metformin and advised me to meet with an endocrinologist immediately.   I was beyond overwhelmed. I was disappointed.  Surprised.  Not surprised.  Embarrassed.  Pissed off.  Sad.  Frustrated.  Disgusted.  My life was about to change and I would have to test my blood sugar a few times a day and rely on medications to regulate my levels.  My gosh.  What kind of life is that?  Everything that I was trying to avoid was about to be my new normal.   And please, please don’t tell me I need to inject myself again.  And my endocrinologist doctor said, “Just hear me out.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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